automaton

i
this time,
   i want to be
      awake.

i want to feel the
   toes in my socks
      & see through my
   eyes at the same
time.

maybe i’ll even be able to
   breathe & think
      & process uric acid
   at the same
time.

ii
like the sun
   we are creatures of
      habit

   burrowing through our
      days like a saw though
plywood.

we want so badly
   to be in love that
      all we experience is the
wanting.

iii
sometimes
   my life feels like an
      empty checkerboard, like

   last year’s calendar, like
      yesterday’s
news.
next time i take a
   bite, i want to
      taste the
apple.

   & when i make a
      step i want my foot to be
         bare.

so if i start to doze,

   wake me up!

   especially,
      the workings of my
heart.